"Dr. Crane! Your glockenspiel has sprung to life!"
--A Midwinter Night's Dream--

"For all I know there's some girl who looks exactly like me running around the south seas, frolicing in the surf all brown skinned and bare breasted"
--unknown episode--

Daphne: "How was your dinner?"
Niles: "It was fine except for one small flaw."
Daphne: "Oh, just the way you like it."
--unknown episode--

"I enjoy looking at your father's case. Just because you have no plans tonight don't spoil our harmless fun. You know, there's nuthin' we Brits like better than a grizzly murder and a nice hot cup of tea."
--unknown episode--

"I'm starting to think maybe I should spend an hour or two on the couch with you."
--unknown episode--

Daphne: "I already know the plot but I try not to blurt out the name of the murderer."
Martin: "Great. As a cop I hated it when people did that."
--unknown episode--